When you don't think about death anymore,

That's when you are. Today, unfortunately?, I delt with the reality of death. Someone I know died. It was so horrible to know that those close to this person were hurting so deeply, that I would have to say there is no pain worse delt. All day today I have been hit with waves of sadness. Anyone reading this knows this feeling. So, I won't continue to express the details of that here. However, here's something I am considering...
I've spent the last day feeling down, and in that time I've been repenting to God. Why? I didn't die. I didn't cause this person to die. I could not have prevented their death. Yet, all day I have been repenting. I don't know why, but I'm thinking it through. I wonder if it might be because experiencing the knowledge of someone else's death and the pain it causes those close to them is about the closest the Living can come to Hell?
Separation. Final. No more. That is Hell. All I would want to do if I were to die and go to Hell is repent - receive another chance. The living have that chance.

A Loved Person is similar to a Bank. Suicide is unfair to those that have invested their life into yours. You don't just take your own, but you take whatever was invested into you as well. I've experienced the lows of a desperate soul aching for a Saviour. I tasted the temptation of freedom from the moment and into the eternal. But, I don't know that I can ever go there again after seeing how cheated my friends feel after losing their investment into the soul of the self-inflicted fallen.