Memoirs of the Naked Guy in July

It's so hot today that by 9:30am I was naked. I would like to be naked before 9:30am, but right now, in my life, there's no real reason to be.

I don't believe there are many circumstances that a person can find themselves in that are quite as uncomfortable as being naked and sweating... Unless you just had poorly timed sex... I guess there are a few scenarios within that circumstance that would be much less hospitable to the ideals of one's comfort.

By 9:40am I could no longer bear to stay in my microwave of a bedroom so, I weighed out the cost of attempting to move to the living room. To make this 8 step journey to the living room (literally 8 steps) it meant I would have to put clothes on, if not just for a few seconds, so that I could close the curtains to my patio door... I don't know if Peeping Tom is gay, but I didn't want to encourage anything...
However, putting clothes on for any increment of time in this temperature sounded about as inviting as sipping on a warm glass or urine but, I really couldn't stay in my room any longer.

Then there was the delema of deciding what I would do once I took up residence in the living room. Since I had only slept for 4.5 hours, sleep seemed appropriate but, I was naked and naked men don't belong on the community couch in my apartment. The floor is too dirty (it's too hot to vacuum). And standing wasn't an option.

Five minutes later, at 9:45am, with beads of sweat welling up in my bellybutton (people with outties don't have to worry about this ever happening), I decided to bite the proverbial bullet and wrap my not-so-proverbial blanket around me, close the curtains, throw the blanket on the couch, turn on the ever expensive A/C and lay on the couch...

It's 11:13am and sweat is causing my laptop to slide across my legs.
I've decided that I owe it to my roommate to at least wear boxers while I'm on the couch even though I am already laying on a blanket.
I had to eventually turn the A/C off due to budget constraints and now, I'm weighing out the cost of moving to the kitchen to climb into the freezer.